Brocolliing

Vomit.  Throw up. Puke. Call it what you will but I think we can all agree that when it presents itself at 12:30 am, it can be referred to simply as "hell'.  Before having my own children, I would run the other direction if someone started heaving, actually I still do if they aren't my own,  I think it stems back to 1998 when one of my students threw up his Fruit Loops all over my flip flopped feet- no one told me about that sort of thing when I started my teacher training.  That all said, your own offsprings' fluids aren't as gross as a someone else's and you realize it is part of the duty you signed up for once you got that "positive' sign on the pee stick.

Since early on, Little D has always had stomach issues.  When she was 10 days old Rob was burping her and screamed, "Oh my God the baby puked!" from the other room.   I was deeply offended that he would referred to our pink little bundle's "spit up" in such a frat boy sort  of way.  It wasn't until I burped her after her next feeding that I realized he has described correctly- she was a puker.  A "Standby Me' blueberry pie scene" kinda puker.  After close to a year on zantac (peppermint is such a natural flavour to a newborn) and her sleeping in a baby carrier to keep her upright, she finally settled and only spat up occasionally-the kind that babies are supposed to make.

Fast forward 5 years to our "broccoli" stage.  Little D has always loved veggies,  She will pass on cookies, cupcakes, and slices of cake but will always polish off a veggie tray on her own at a birthday party (so not my kid).  After dinner one night we tucked her into bed only to wake to that God awful gagging sound that no parent wants to hear.  We ran up to find a puddle of digested broccoli on the bed, floor, and in her hair.  "Ewwwww broccoli," stated Rob.  "Ick broccoli," stated her loving mother.  We cleaned the mess up and tucked her back in to bed.  The next day, she ate some more broccoli resulting in the same reaction a short time later.  We, being the mature parents that we are, couldn't hide our disgust and once again greeted it with "eww broccoli" and "ick broccoli".  Based on this experience, I don't know why we were surprised when the noun became a verb and she reported to us one day that "Devin just broccolied" after a birthday party.  Broccoli was now a synonym for vomit.  Great.  Can say I have eaten much of it since.

Last night when going to bed, Little D reported having an upset stomach.   Figuring she was looking for some cuddles and perhaps a mid-week visit into our bed, I bowed and let her sleep on Daddy's side of the bed-I am so giving like that.  I fell asleep a short time later only to wake to a sound that I thought was her passing gas.  Nope.  She broccolied.  On Daddy's side of the bed.  When she got up to sort herself out, it trailed after her everywhere.  Oh and the smell.   We got her tucked into the spare room and Daddy gave her cuddles while I cleaned and got fresh sheets on the bed.  Figures this happens the night before he starts a new job.  Damn that Murphy and his law.

At 2:30 am I finally got back into bed and was beginning to doze when I heard that unmistakable run to the bathroom.  The poor little thing, where did it all come from?  Once again, we cleaned her and brought her back to our room to have a cuddle and get some sleep.  She walks in and with a impressed look on her face says, "Nice sheets!  Are they new? "  WTH???  The way kids bounce back after being sick always astonishes me-or perhaps I have become accustomed to the 'man cold' and how long that recovery seems to be.

I am happy to report that nothing too eventful happened after 2:30 and things have gone well today.  She did manage to have some toast and homemade soup (thanks to Big D).  I wonder if broccoli will be on the menu tomorrow?