happy new year

new years . ugh. the time when i feel the need to look at what things i need to improve in my life so that in a few a weeks when i drop the ball, i can feel crummy for not sticking to my guns. i do like the idea of a fresh start but feel a monday after a guilty weekend just as refreshing and september (back to school) the start to MY fiscal year. i think the word "resolution" is intimidating enough..."re" means to do something again, and "solution" is a way to solve a problem...to resolve a problem again and again and again. ... yikes, doesn't that already scream failure before startint? so this year i decided to come up with a few "readjustments" instead - things that i plan to tweak throughout the year as i feel needed. things that i do and feel i shouldn't or want to do but feel i shouldn't....so far i have come up with a few:

1. to allow the same paint brush to be dipped into different colours
2. to turn the tv on for my children to watch so i can have 5 mins to myself at the end of the day.
3. to say "because i said so" instead of doing the right parenting thing all the time
4. to admit i don't compost because the fruit flies drive me NUTS
5. to allow my kids to have whip cream out of the can more often just cause it makes them happy
6. not to plan everything all the time ...as often(who am i kidding?!)
7.no to be "on" the laundry and to let the dirty clothes pile up cause they aren't going anywhere but one day my girls will be
8. to accept that my reading will not go beyond sandra boyton and people magazine for a few more years...and to stop buying grown up books
9. to balance screentime with facetime (recently realized how handsome my hubby is and that time is treating him well)

i think that is it for now. nothing too far outta reach but things i can adjust when i see fit and nothing i feel i need "luck" to help me out with...

so happy new years to you and good luck on your re......?

puppy love

growing up, my best friend had a chow chow....named chow. it was the cutest creature i had ever seen...furry, fluffy...just the cutest. however, chow saw things differently. chow did not feel the love and did not want anyone to feel its love. anytime i went to pat the dog i took my life into to my hands. i never quite knew the reaction i was going to get. sometimes i was surprised and greeted with a friendly nuzzle and sloppy kiss...other times....watch out!

fast forward 30 (gulp!) years and i now have my own little "chow" at home...except instead of a purple tongue and fluffy coat....it has sticky fingers and two pig tails...and answers to "deirann". deirann is the cutest creature i have ever seen...cuddly, chubby....just the cutest. however, deirann sees things differently...especially when it comes to showing the love to her big sister. devin is desperate to have cuddles with her little sister and deirann will have NOTHING to do with it. in the middle of the night, in the deepest of sleeps, devin will reach out to her little sister and rest her arm on her ever so slightly only to have deirann (eyes still shut) pickup big sister's hand and drop it on the bed. it is funny to see but i do feel devin's frustration and since she will give cuddles on command (there are a lot of canine references in here that i am sure to pay for BIG in therapist's bills someday!) she does get very frustrated when the love is not reciprocated by deirann.

it is funny when deirann does offer some love...we jump at it say "devin stop what you are doing and take the love...enjoy it!" the last few weeks however, we have seen a slight change in little d. she has started to actually sit beside devin at dinner and even offer some kisses(!) without pleading or bribing....! i don't want to jinx things but i am hoping that this is the beginning of the sisterly love devin has been waiting 3 years for...(i just knocked wood as i typed that!). now, rest assured, i knew i would never have children that would be joined at the hip but i did hope they would be able tolerate each other. i also always figured that it would be the older one that would be telling the younger one to "leave me alone"...NOT the other way around. regardless, it is nice to finally be able to let them loose in the same room together and know that it will not (always) end in screaming and "leave me alone"

so hopefully, this is not just a phase and that we actually have been able to teach our "young" dog a new trick....

four outta five dentists....

so about a year ago we were floored to find out that devin had a whack of cavities. we have always been very careful about making sure both girls didn't get sweets nor juice, offering raisins and apples instead of candy, brushing faithfully twice a day, visiting the dentist twice a year since she they were 18 months...but somehow...bam...the eldest has crummy tootypegs.



once we recovered from the initial shock and guilt and got another appointment scheduled, we toodled back to the dentist office to have the issue dealt with. never being one to shy away from people or medicine devin happily plopped herself into the chair and opened her mouth wide with daddy standing nearby....while i waited in the waiting room with deirann....


everything went well for the first 5 minutes or so then i heard a cry that woulda make clarice starling shake in her boots followed by a heart wrenching "mmmmaaaammmmmmmaaaaa....."


rob appeared at the door, sweating, "noel, you have to come in here and help...."




gulp. ok, i signed up for the good, bad and ugly of parenting and i think this was covered somewhere in the small print. when i made it into the exam room, poor devin was pinned down by the hygienist while the dentist was trying to deal with her cavity. seeing your baby in that situation is not good....and i did everything in my power to contain myself and not put those two woman in full nelsons on the floor.

"i think it is safe to say that you can just finish what you need to do to get her through the night so that we can deal with this another time in another way." i think my mamabear tone came through clear enough and medusa and her sister got their acts together and we were outta there pdq.

luckily we were able to get into a pediatric dentist two days later and eventually a pediatric dentist that offered gas...for the patient, not me. devin had her teeth sorted and $1500 (!) later, she flashed a sparkly smile complete with "gold mama not silver" caps on two baby teeth....yup $1500 to sort out BABY teeth! as parents we were assured we shouldn't beat ourselves up over the cavities and that devin had deep fissures that were prone to these issues....enough to keep me from anymore self-flogging.

fast forward a year to late august when devin complained of a sore tooth on the eve of deirann's dentist's appointment...good timing! when we arrived at the office they were happy to accommodate dev and after an xray stated that she had an infection in one of her "gold" teeth (honestly, they are the silvery ones and no she doesn't look like flavour flav with a grill). hopefully a does of antibiotics would nip it but if not, she would need it to be pulled....pulled....oh dear god how are we gonna explain that one to her???


anyhow, the meds didn't work and 2 weeks ago big d went in to have her first tooth pulled. we warned her that there would be blood and that no, we could not put a bandaid on it but that she would be ok and she would get to bring the tooth home. rob took her to the appointment (did i mention i am a HUGE wimp in these situations??) and waited for the call to say all was well....

the phone finally rang and all i couldn't make out what he was saying because of all the screaming in the background.


"oh my god, is she ok? what did they do???"


" they pulled the tooth."


"well i know that! but did they give her something for the pain?? is she ok? should i come home??"


"what noel?? i can't hear you? devin stop screaming!"


well if i could have climbed through the phone and strangled my heartless husband for speaking to my girl that way....i woulda.


"here, talk to your mother."


"mmmmaaaammmmmaaaaaaaa...."


"oh dev, are you ok? are you in pain???" i was doing everything not to cry myself.


"no....waaaaa....pain.....waaaaaaaa,"


"what devin, do you feel woozy??"


"no...waaaaa...mama....waaaaaaa."


"what is it devin??? what is wrong???"


"they...waaaaa....wouldn't lemme keep my tooth.....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"


we paid $750 to have that tooth capped the year before....ya think they woulda let her keep it or at least offered us some sorta rebate or something on it !!!


so, you can imagine what the rest of the conversation was like....devin wailing while i am trying to negotiate her off the ledge. she finally settled when we came up with the solution of writing the toothfairy (gotta love the fact we tell our children to NEVER lie....but an imaginary fairy leaving $ is acceptable false truth) a letter explaining what happened and leave that under her pillow.


the next few days were great. she happily showed EVERYONE the hole in her mouth and $ that the toothfairy left and we waited for the appointment to get her fitted for a spacer. i decided to be the brave one (ok, rob actually made me step up to the plate on this one) and bring devin to the appointment with deirann in tow before heading to work for the day. we went in and both girls happily greeted everyone in sight while playing in the waiting room (when did the dentist office become such a great place??? i swear i am going organize a playdate to meet there and enjoy all the toys!). when she was called, devin jumped up and skipped (yes skipped!) to the exam room and plopped herself in the chair. the hygienist did her thing and in a few minutes we were ready to leave.


"ok dev, let's go," i turned to see devin with her heading hanging low and one droopy lip appearing....


"what's wrong??"


she looked up with her big blues eyes, " that's it??? i want more. can' t the dentist use the suck chin (aka suction)on my spit??"


are you kidding?


i finally got her out of the room with the promise of some new dental floss only to turn and realize deirann was no where in sight. crap. she is fast, sneaky and recently labelled the "escape artist".

"marco???" our usual way of finding each other.

"polo!"

"marco???" i followed the sound of her voice...


"polo!" found her. sitting in the dental chair waiting for someone to come and fuss over her teeth.


"sorry d, you don't have an appointment today, we need to go to school."


"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"


my child proceeded to have a full on fit in the dentist chair because she wanted someone to do something to her teeth....how can these children be mine?


so, a very kind-hearted hygienist flossed deirann's teeth and used the "suck chin" on her allowing us to finally leave the office and get on the road to work.


so where are we now? well yesterday devin had a spacer put in ( "its kinda like bracelets mama" "....um that's braces devin") and she is good to go for 3 months before our next check up. we are keeping a closer eye on deirann and limiting raisins and other chewy foods (who woulda thunk they were worse than lollipops???) and realizing sometimes things are outta your control. i have also decided that pediatric specialists are god-like and well worth the extra $ and that somehow i have managed to mother two children with a love of medicine that makes me wonder it they are truly mine.....

footwear optional

so deirann is two....VERY two.



we recently have been reminded of her age thanks to a couple of incidents and full-fledged conniptions. it amazes me that something so little can get so ticked at such insignificant things....and despite what my hubby says....i AM talking deirann...not me. case in point, this week my darling child lost it on me for helping put the "pea size" dollop of toothpaste on her toothbrush...and when i mean lost it....i truly mean it. she flipped. after a very dramatic "woe is me" head flop on to the counter top...she proceeded to cross her chubby little arms in front of her (they can barely wrap around her tummy) turn away from me and deliver "hmp...i mad". now, being a regular on the playing field of parenting with a few years of experience under my belt, i knew not to react to the behavior but rather determine what the real issue could be.


"wow you are angry aren't you deirann?"





silence.





"i can tell you are not happy."





silence. followed with the nastiest cutting eyes i have received in a long time.





"are you angry because i put the toothpaste on your toothbrush?"





"mmm hmm" her arms tightened a little more.





"would you like to put the toothpaste on yourself?"





BIG smile and up she goes to the sink to start the process of repasting the brush.





ok...so she wants some independence and control...i can swing that, no problem...after all, being a montessori teacher isn't that what we promote and ultimately want in our children?





so after some brushing and cuddles we head downstairs to begin the next part of the day.

and luckily it was a school day so i didn't have to spend the whole day with my little darling...wow..did i just write that?



anyhow the rest of the day went off without incident and at 4:15 i collected deirann and devin and began the journey home. we started off well until i decided to change the cd we were listening to in the car.



"no mama."



"pardon deirann?"



"no mama, i no like that song."



"well i do deirann and i would like to listen to it."



"nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."



and silence.



hmmm...maybe she is realizing she can't get her way all the time.



"THUMP!"



what just hit me in the head? i looked in the passenger seat beside me and there lies a pink little shoe...belonging to deirann. the stinker had thrown her shoe at me!!!



i saw red. i saw fire engine red.



i pulled over, stopped the car and got out. i then went to the back of the car and threw a HUGE hissy fit with language that would make a sailor blush. my kid just threw her shoe at me because we didn't agree on a musical selection. are you kidding? what did i do to deserve this???



once composed, i got back in the car and without saying a word, drove the car home....listening to my music (as you can clearly see, i have not matured as of late). we exited the car, entered the house and i deposited little miss deirann in her room for her to have some "time to think things over" aka mum's "get outta my hair or i am going to kill you" time.



a little while later (6 -oz- of -pinot -grigio -consumed-time to be exact) she padded into the kitchen and said, "i'm sorry mama. me not throw shoes at you, its not nice."



"ah thanks deirann, i accept your apology. just remember you can't get what you want all the time."



we enjoyed some cuddles and read a few books before getting ready for bed. both girls had a ball in the bubble bath and were up on their stools getting ready to brush their teeth. i set both girls up to put their own toothpaste on the brushes and went to turn down their beds....



then i heard the scream...



"MAMA!!!!!! "



i ran in expecting to find a severed limb on the floor or at least a goose egg forming on someone's head but no...i found deirann....



"you no put toothpaste on my toothbrush. hmp...i mad" and she proceeded to throw her toothbrush at me and cross her chubby little arms across her chest.



seriously...i can't win. nope. i can't.



i do know it is a phase but when you are in the thick of it, it is very hard to see the forest for the trees. so i am being consistent with boundaries and punishments ...and making footwear optional in my car.

Deirann and the smoking gun...i mean shoe!

...these are a few of my favourite things...

i gotta say my favourite thing in the whole wide world is sat morning lie-ins...i love them... more than my husband...and he knows it.

now, a "lie in" in my house means getting to stay in bed til 8ish and by lie in i do not mean sleep in, no those days flew the coup early september 2005. nowadays a lie in means getting to physically lie in bed without an alarm clock reminding me i gotta be somewhere soon. nothing makes me happier than having devin pad into our room early in the am and say "cuddle mama?". i think that is my favourite thing to have whispered into my ear, well....unless it is george clooney doing the whispering. those few extra moments with my two jammie-clad girls can recharge my batteries better than any fancy starbucks drink, any " girl night"...anything i can think of. i truly feel like the grinch when his heart triples in size as soon as one of my girls plops themselves into our bed. now don't get me wrong, i do miss my days of restful sleep and wonder if i will ever sleep through the night again but in the meantime, i will make do.

my other favourite thing these days is friday night movie night. it wasn't too long ago that friday nights meant hanging with the girls at the baa field watching rugby or hitting "my apartment" in downtown to. but considering i am ready to crash by 9 pm most nights, friday movie night is awesome. mini marshamllows, a big blanket and cuddles on the couch....bliss. most days i still can't believe i was the one who proudly said "i am not having children no way in hell" and now i am the proud (albeit in consisitent) owner of a blog and it is all about them.

wow times have changed...and i can officially say , for the better.