Spilling the Beans

i recently received an email from good friends of ours that still live in bermuda. they (including three year old adriana) confirmed that they would be coming for a visit in late august enroute to bermuda from b.c. needless to say, i was a little excited at the idea of having a well-missed girlfriend living with us for a few days...but boy i don't think anything would match devin 's excitement! adriana is her bestest friend in the whole wide world and even though they have only seen each other for a few days at christmas since last july, devin still talks about adriana regulary as if she just had lunch with her at milestones or a pedi with her at the spa...it is that kinda friendship.

this recent email made me flashback to last fall when i receved a similar email from the same family saying they were going to visit us around christmas enroute to b.c.
being an experinced teacher, i know it is important to forwarn children when something a little different to the routine will occur. i have also learned (the hard way!) that you do not spill the beans about the change to routine too earlier or too late. timing is once again very important. if you tell them too early, you will be greeted with "is today the day -insert change to routine here_?" and if you tell them too late...well that can send them over the edge.

but of course all this knowledge went out the window last fall and i decided that i would tell devin that adriana and her family wre coming for a visit.

"is my best friend adriana (i swear that is what she calls her...everytime!!) coming today?"

"no devin, adriana is not coming today."

next day, "is my best friend adriana coming today?"

"no devin, adriana is not coming today."

you can see where this is going. this all started in october...and adriana wasn't coming until december...oh boy.

the teacher in me saw this as a great opportunity to introduce devin to a calendar. we got a red marker, some stickers and a simple calender with big squares to write in dates.

"so devin, you see here, this is today...october 7th...you see here, this is december 18th...that is when adriana will be here!" we proceeded to decorate the "big day" and hung the calendar on the wall where devin could look at it and mark the dates off. we discussed the fun things they would do togegther and how great it would be to play in the snow with each other.

"so adriana will be here when there is snow?"

"yup, fingers crossed devin there is snow, adriana will be here."

the calendar seemed to work like a charm for a few days, devin would run downstairs and put a big red line through the day so she could see how many more days were left.

one morning dev ran down to mark of the day when she noticed the marker was missing.

"mama, where is the marker?"

"hmmm...it is not attached to the calendar with the string?"

"no mama....the string is here and the hat (aka the "top" to the marker) but no marker. i need the marker to mark off when my best friend adriana is coming...

"yes devin i kn..."

"mama, look at deriann..."

needless to say, we found the marker...and a little girl that looked like she had the measles.

we decided to move the marker and calendar out of harms way and continued to mark off the days to the big arrival.

"so did you mark off when adriana is coming today on your calandar?" i greeted young miss d one morning.

"nope, my best friend adriana is coming today!"

huh? after a quick check i confirmed it was only early november and we had over a month before her visit.

"no dev, adraina is not coming today. look at your calander, we have lots of days to go before she comes..."

" she is coming today," devin insisted.

"i am sorry devin, adri...."

"mummy you said she was coming today!" poor devin was getting a little "angry" now, clearly i was in the wrong.

"devin, adriana and her family are not coming until december 18th. it is only november 3rd." when in doubt, state the obvious.

"mummy it is snowing."devin also believes that when in doubt state the obvious .

"well look at that it is!" ok if i can divert her to the snow, she may shake this whole"adriana is coming today" thing.

"...and you said my best friend adriana would come when it snows...."

oy, i did say that didn't i?

"devin i meant that there would be snow on the ground when adriaina came to visit..."

"...but mummy you said..."

"...i didn't mean that when it snows for the first time she would be coming that same day!"

"..but mummy...??!!"

so once again i had to disappoint my daughter and explain that her bff would not be coming for a visit for a quite a few weeks. almost like dog years, time to kids is way longer then it is to adults.

she was quite upset but did come around. we found other ways to count down adriana's visit..deirann should be walking by the time adriana visits ..."look mama deirann is walking ...is my best friend adriana coming today?"...and after we put up the christmas decorations .." look mama the tree is decorated...is my best firiend adriana coming today?"

this continued until december 18th, the BIG day. but i gotta admit, the greeting the two gave each other and the fun they had for those few days made the wait worth while.

so, what did i learn from all this? that i need to keep my big mouth shut and that devin is on a need to know basis regarding visits from bestest friends, christmas, birthdays...all the important stuff.

recently, i was hanging with a neighbour watching our kids play in the dirt together and was telling her that adriana was coming for a visit and that we are going to plan devin's birthday party while adriana was here. i was just about to explain that this time, i was not going to tell devin about the visit until the day before they arrive ..but i didn't have the chance....

"hey devin," hollars friendly neigbour, "i hear your friend adriana is coming to visit you for your birthday!"

....man that kid's head turned quicker then anything i have ever seen. she stared at me with those big blue eyes and her mouth hanging open.....and let out a squeal of delight that surely caused glass to break in all the nearby houses...followed with..." is my best friend adriana coming today for my birfday????"

...it is may 11h....adriana is not coming until august 25th....and devin's birthday isn't until september 3rd.....

oy.

devin and her best friend adriana.