puppy love

growing up, my best friend had a chow chow....named chow. it was the cutest creature i had ever seen...furry, fluffy...just the cutest. however, chow saw things differently. chow did not feel the love and did not want anyone to feel its love. anytime i went to pat the dog i took my life into to my hands. i never quite knew the reaction i was going to get. sometimes i was surprised and greeted with a friendly nuzzle and sloppy kiss...other times....watch out!

fast forward 30 (gulp!) years and i now have my own little "chow" at home...except instead of a purple tongue and fluffy coat....it has sticky fingers and two pig tails...and answers to "deirann". deirann is the cutest creature i have ever seen...cuddly, chubby....just the cutest. however, deirann sees things differently...especially when it comes to showing the love to her big sister. devin is desperate to have cuddles with her little sister and deirann will have NOTHING to do with it. in the middle of the night, in the deepest of sleeps, devin will reach out to her little sister and rest her arm on her ever so slightly only to have deirann (eyes still shut) pickup big sister's hand and drop it on the bed. it is funny to see but i do feel devin's frustration and since she will give cuddles on command (there are a lot of canine references in here that i am sure to pay for BIG in therapist's bills someday!) she does get very frustrated when the love is not reciprocated by deirann.

it is funny when deirann does offer some love...we jump at it say "devin stop what you are doing and take the love...enjoy it!" the last few weeks however, we have seen a slight change in little d. she has started to actually sit beside devin at dinner and even offer some kisses(!) without pleading or bribing....! i don't want to jinx things but i am hoping that this is the beginning of the sisterly love devin has been waiting 3 years for...(i just knocked wood as i typed that!). now, rest assured, i knew i would never have children that would be joined at the hip but i did hope they would be able tolerate each other. i also always figured that it would be the older one that would be telling the younger one to "leave me alone"...NOT the other way around. regardless, it is nice to finally be able to let them loose in the same room together and know that it will not (always) end in screaming and "leave me alone"

so hopefully, this is not just a phase and that we actually have been able to teach our "young" dog a new trick....

four outta five dentists....

so about a year ago we were floored to find out that devin had a whack of cavities. we have always been very careful about making sure both girls didn't get sweets nor juice, offering raisins and apples instead of candy, brushing faithfully twice a day, visiting the dentist twice a year since she they were 18 months...but somehow...bam...the eldest has crummy tootypegs.



once we recovered from the initial shock and guilt and got another appointment scheduled, we toodled back to the dentist office to have the issue dealt with. never being one to shy away from people or medicine devin happily plopped herself into the chair and opened her mouth wide with daddy standing nearby....while i waited in the waiting room with deirann....


everything went well for the first 5 minutes or so then i heard a cry that woulda make clarice starling shake in her boots followed by a heart wrenching "mmmmaaaammmmmmmaaaaa....."


rob appeared at the door, sweating, "noel, you have to come in here and help...."




gulp. ok, i signed up for the good, bad and ugly of parenting and i think this was covered somewhere in the small print. when i made it into the exam room, poor devin was pinned down by the hygienist while the dentist was trying to deal with her cavity. seeing your baby in that situation is not good....and i did everything in my power to contain myself and not put those two woman in full nelsons on the floor.

"i think it is safe to say that you can just finish what you need to do to get her through the night so that we can deal with this another time in another way." i think my mamabear tone came through clear enough and medusa and her sister got their acts together and we were outta there pdq.

luckily we were able to get into a pediatric dentist two days later and eventually a pediatric dentist that offered gas...for the patient, not me. devin had her teeth sorted and $1500 (!) later, she flashed a sparkly smile complete with "gold mama not silver" caps on two baby teeth....yup $1500 to sort out BABY teeth! as parents we were assured we shouldn't beat ourselves up over the cavities and that devin had deep fissures that were prone to these issues....enough to keep me from anymore self-flogging.

fast forward a year to late august when devin complained of a sore tooth on the eve of deirann's dentist's appointment...good timing! when we arrived at the office they were happy to accommodate dev and after an xray stated that she had an infection in one of her "gold" teeth (honestly, they are the silvery ones and no she doesn't look like flavour flav with a grill). hopefully a does of antibiotics would nip it but if not, she would need it to be pulled....pulled....oh dear god how are we gonna explain that one to her???


anyhow, the meds didn't work and 2 weeks ago big d went in to have her first tooth pulled. we warned her that there would be blood and that no, we could not put a bandaid on it but that she would be ok and she would get to bring the tooth home. rob took her to the appointment (did i mention i am a HUGE wimp in these situations??) and waited for the call to say all was well....

the phone finally rang and all i couldn't make out what he was saying because of all the screaming in the background.


"oh my god, is she ok? what did they do???"


" they pulled the tooth."


"well i know that! but did they give her something for the pain?? is she ok? should i come home??"


"what noel?? i can't hear you? devin stop screaming!"


well if i could have climbed through the phone and strangled my heartless husband for speaking to my girl that way....i woulda.


"here, talk to your mother."


"mmmmaaaammmmmaaaaaaaa...."


"oh dev, are you ok? are you in pain???" i was doing everything not to cry myself.


"no....waaaaa....pain.....waaaaaaaa,"


"what devin, do you feel woozy??"


"no...waaaaa...mama....waaaaaaa."


"what is it devin??? what is wrong???"


"they...waaaaa....wouldn't lemme keep my tooth.....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"


we paid $750 to have that tooth capped the year before....ya think they woulda let her keep it or at least offered us some sorta rebate or something on it !!!


so, you can imagine what the rest of the conversation was like....devin wailing while i am trying to negotiate her off the ledge. she finally settled when we came up with the solution of writing the toothfairy (gotta love the fact we tell our children to NEVER lie....but an imaginary fairy leaving $ is acceptable false truth) a letter explaining what happened and leave that under her pillow.


the next few days were great. she happily showed EVERYONE the hole in her mouth and $ that the toothfairy left and we waited for the appointment to get her fitted for a spacer. i decided to be the brave one (ok, rob actually made me step up to the plate on this one) and bring devin to the appointment with deirann in tow before heading to work for the day. we went in and both girls happily greeted everyone in sight while playing in the waiting room (when did the dentist office become such a great place??? i swear i am going organize a playdate to meet there and enjoy all the toys!). when she was called, devin jumped up and skipped (yes skipped!) to the exam room and plopped herself in the chair. the hygienist did her thing and in a few minutes we were ready to leave.


"ok dev, let's go," i turned to see devin with her heading hanging low and one droopy lip appearing....


"what's wrong??"


she looked up with her big blues eyes, " that's it??? i want more. can' t the dentist use the suck chin (aka suction)on my spit??"


are you kidding?


i finally got her out of the room with the promise of some new dental floss only to turn and realize deirann was no where in sight. crap. she is fast, sneaky and recently labelled the "escape artist".

"marco???" our usual way of finding each other.

"polo!"

"marco???" i followed the sound of her voice...


"polo!" found her. sitting in the dental chair waiting for someone to come and fuss over her teeth.


"sorry d, you don't have an appointment today, we need to go to school."


"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"


my child proceeded to have a full on fit in the dentist chair because she wanted someone to do something to her teeth....how can these children be mine?


so, a very kind-hearted hygienist flossed deirann's teeth and used the "suck chin" on her allowing us to finally leave the office and get on the road to work.


so where are we now? well yesterday devin had a spacer put in ( "its kinda like bracelets mama" "....um that's braces devin") and she is good to go for 3 months before our next check up. we are keeping a closer eye on deirann and limiting raisins and other chewy foods (who woulda thunk they were worse than lollipops???) and realizing sometimes things are outta your control. i have also decided that pediatric specialists are god-like and well worth the extra $ and that somehow i have managed to mother two children with a love of medicine that makes me wonder it they are truly mine.....

footwear optional

so deirann is two....VERY two.



we recently have been reminded of her age thanks to a couple of incidents and full-fledged conniptions. it amazes me that something so little can get so ticked at such insignificant things....and despite what my hubby says....i AM talking deirann...not me. case in point, this week my darling child lost it on me for helping put the "pea size" dollop of toothpaste on her toothbrush...and when i mean lost it....i truly mean it. she flipped. after a very dramatic "woe is me" head flop on to the counter top...she proceeded to cross her chubby little arms in front of her (they can barely wrap around her tummy) turn away from me and deliver "hmp...i mad". now, being a regular on the playing field of parenting with a few years of experience under my belt, i knew not to react to the behavior but rather determine what the real issue could be.


"wow you are angry aren't you deirann?"





silence.





"i can tell you are not happy."





silence. followed with the nastiest cutting eyes i have received in a long time.





"are you angry because i put the toothpaste on your toothbrush?"





"mmm hmm" her arms tightened a little more.





"would you like to put the toothpaste on yourself?"





BIG smile and up she goes to the sink to start the process of repasting the brush.





ok...so she wants some independence and control...i can swing that, no problem...after all, being a montessori teacher isn't that what we promote and ultimately want in our children?





so after some brushing and cuddles we head downstairs to begin the next part of the day.

and luckily it was a school day so i didn't have to spend the whole day with my little darling...wow..did i just write that?



anyhow the rest of the day went off without incident and at 4:15 i collected deirann and devin and began the journey home. we started off well until i decided to change the cd we were listening to in the car.



"no mama."



"pardon deirann?"



"no mama, i no like that song."



"well i do deirann and i would like to listen to it."



"nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."



and silence.



hmmm...maybe she is realizing she can't get her way all the time.



"THUMP!"



what just hit me in the head? i looked in the passenger seat beside me and there lies a pink little shoe...belonging to deirann. the stinker had thrown her shoe at me!!!



i saw red. i saw fire engine red.



i pulled over, stopped the car and got out. i then went to the back of the car and threw a HUGE hissy fit with language that would make a sailor blush. my kid just threw her shoe at me because we didn't agree on a musical selection. are you kidding? what did i do to deserve this???



once composed, i got back in the car and without saying a word, drove the car home....listening to my music (as you can clearly see, i have not matured as of late). we exited the car, entered the house and i deposited little miss deirann in her room for her to have some "time to think things over" aka mum's "get outta my hair or i am going to kill you" time.



a little while later (6 -oz- of -pinot -grigio -consumed-time to be exact) she padded into the kitchen and said, "i'm sorry mama. me not throw shoes at you, its not nice."



"ah thanks deirann, i accept your apology. just remember you can't get what you want all the time."



we enjoyed some cuddles and read a few books before getting ready for bed. both girls had a ball in the bubble bath and were up on their stools getting ready to brush their teeth. i set both girls up to put their own toothpaste on the brushes and went to turn down their beds....



then i heard the scream...



"MAMA!!!!!! "



i ran in expecting to find a severed limb on the floor or at least a goose egg forming on someone's head but no...i found deirann....



"you no put toothpaste on my toothbrush. hmp...i mad" and she proceeded to throw her toothbrush at me and cross her chubby little arms across her chest.



seriously...i can't win. nope. i can't.



i do know it is a phase but when you are in the thick of it, it is very hard to see the forest for the trees. so i am being consistent with boundaries and punishments ...and making footwear optional in my car.

Deirann and the smoking gun...i mean shoe!

...these are a few of my favourite things...

i gotta say my favourite thing in the whole wide world is sat morning lie-ins...i love them... more than my husband...and he knows it.

now, a "lie in" in my house means getting to stay in bed til 8ish and by lie in i do not mean sleep in, no those days flew the coup early september 2005. nowadays a lie in means getting to physically lie in bed without an alarm clock reminding me i gotta be somewhere soon. nothing makes me happier than having devin pad into our room early in the am and say "cuddle mama?". i think that is my favourite thing to have whispered into my ear, well....unless it is george clooney doing the whispering. those few extra moments with my two jammie-clad girls can recharge my batteries better than any fancy starbucks drink, any " girl night"...anything i can think of. i truly feel like the grinch when his heart triples in size as soon as one of my girls plops themselves into our bed. now don't get me wrong, i do miss my days of restful sleep and wonder if i will ever sleep through the night again but in the meantime, i will make do.

my other favourite thing these days is friday night movie night. it wasn't too long ago that friday nights meant hanging with the girls at the baa field watching rugby or hitting "my apartment" in downtown to. but considering i am ready to crash by 9 pm most nights, friday movie night is awesome. mini marshamllows, a big blanket and cuddles on the couch....bliss. most days i still can't believe i was the one who proudly said "i am not having children no way in hell" and now i am the proud (albeit in consisitent) owner of a blog and it is all about them.

wow times have changed...and i can officially say , for the better.

Not the brightest crayon in the coloring box, now are we?

we recently celebrated deirann's second birthday. it was a week long gala filled with food, family and fun. of course there were also a whack of presents to be torn apart and greatly enjoyed by all. those who know me know that i am the queen of second hand bargains (aka princess cheapo) and often find family members justifying purchases for my girls' with "but it was on sale", or "i found it in the closet" and of course "it fell from the sky and i thought the girls would love it!". with that said, i also realize that birthdays are the time to be spoiled and indulge a little...so family members were given the green light to buy what they wanted for little miss d.

luckily everyone stayed pretty much in check and didn't go too crazy. a few good books (can always tell the teacher's kids can't ya?), cds, puzzles, wiggles' games, and gorgeous outfits were gracefully accepted along with a colouring book, paint set and some crayons. all excellent choices that will surely bring hours of fun.

i did have to laugh when the girls dove into the box of crayons later in the week and devin asked for a little help.
"mummy, can you help me with the clothes?"

" sure dev, you want to get your jammies on?"

"no mummy, the crayons' clothes."

?

"pardon devin?"

" i want to take the crayons' clothes off... they feel so much better that way."

"huh?"

when i took a look over, i noticed a little pile of torn paper forming on the floor near devin's chair....the paper belonged to the crayons.

"oh devin."

perhaps it was because the first few years of her life found miss devin in a topless fashion running on a beach, but whatever the reason, devin insists on taking the paper off of all newly purchased soap, socks off of deirann's feet and wrappers off of crayons. she can't stand being "fenced in".


while deirann enjoyed colouring the "big red car" orange with the crayons that came with the colouring book, devin refused to use them.


" i don't like the crayons."


"they slide across the paper."


"the crayons aren't right."


now keep in mind my alter ego, "princess cheapo" and i will at this point admit my love for "dollarama"...perhaps it explains where the crayons were purchased.


"but devin look, they have princesses on them!"


....silence....


oh well, there you have it, my child is a snob....a wax-colouring-utensil snob.


i did have to laugh at it all.


i can TOTALLY relate to the importance of crayons.


i remember for my 7th birthday, july 7th, 19?? (the month is relevant, not the year) i received my first box of 64 crayola crayons...with...the BUILT IN SHARPENER...and that beautiful cornflower blue. i swear i wanted to wear a cornflower blue dress for my wedding day while the sun shone in the cornflower blue sky and i gazed into my husband-to-be's cornflower blue eyes.....ahhhhh dreamy.


i remember getting other pressies but none would top those crayons. after colouring some pictures of almonzo wilder ( i KNOW someone out there relates!) my birthday party moved inside for some cake and mcdonalds' orange drink.


a short time later, my guests started to head home and i went out to gather my "loot". i remember being out front on the porch steps and seeing my crayons....and a little puddle (the therapist says it is good to talk about these things). i went to collect my prized pressie and realized something wasn't right....this is where you need to remember when i said my birthday was...especailly the month...

i vaguely remember my dad coming out and saying it was okay and "why not come and play with your fuzzy pump barber shop"...i think he even suggested a science experiment on what happens when wax meets heat.


but nothing was going to replace those crayons...those crayons that were now a big crayon...a big waxy lump of mass...july heat in canada causes things to melt...in the direct sun ....where i left my first new box of 64 crayola crayons with the built in sharpener...and that beautiful cornflower blue.


so, when devin complained about those "cheap" crayons i did what any intelligent, penny saving mother would do...I took her to michaels and bought the biggest baddest box of CRAYOLA crayons we could find....and used my 40% micheals' coupon i clipped a few days earlier.

"nobody buys my baby cheap crayons" johnny castle, dirty dancing.

blind date

so finally at the age of 38, i went on a blind date .


i had butterflies in my stomach when i made the call and left a message saying "ok, let's meet at 4 pm, my husband will be out and i desperate. i am tall, long brown hair, wearing a (surprise!) white tshirt, and navy skirt. looking forward to meeting you!"

so just before 4:00 i wandered down to the designated meeting spot...and waited. i kept smiling at people thinking " hmm...are you here to meet me? are you the friend i have been looking for?" finally a few minutes later, i heard "you must be noeleen."

i turned around to see a casually dressed parent with a toddler and a three year old.

"hi! you must be cora (ha! for all of you that thought i was meeting man....get your mind outta the gutter!) and this must be "insert kiddies names' here."

we made the intros between the girls and off they ran to play. cora and i spent a few minutes exchanging pleasantries and how it was so nice to finally find time for our girls to get together.

after moving to burlington a year ago, i am still looking for friends for my girls. i honestly look/sound like a crazy, stalker that goes up to people in playcentres and gives away my phone number. i slow down and look at kids walking down my street wondering if they are near the age of my own two kids...meanwhile i never really thought about what it must look like ...black suv with tinted windows that drives REAL slow passing children...while the driver takes a long stare at the lil ones walking past...kinda creepy when you think about it.

growing up i was crazy shy. my folks tried everything to get me to make friends...brownies, tennis, irish dancing...even bowling (cause apprently bowling allies are "the" place to meet people). but, i remained a very shy and awkward person up until late. now, i will talk to ANYONE if they have anything about them that looks remotely pink and "i know a four year old".

now don't get me wrong, devin has friends, however most of them are boys....boys who can tolerate princess etc for a very short amount of time if any at all. but lil miss d needs a bff that lives in ontario ....or at least canada ( see Spilling the Beans ) that enjoys the beauty of pretty things...not just star wars and batman.

so, cora and i hung out for a bit and the girls seemed to hit it off. she seemed like a parent that had the same "issues" i had...making me feel a little better for the time being. we laughed at our common thread (my sister in law met her at her place of business) and the things parents do for our kids.

when we left the park we said we would be in touch, "i'll call you" s were exchanged but leaving me with the unneeded stress of "will she call? or should i call her?" i think i actually got a little worried about the three day rule and if it acually applied to grown up-same sex friends.

luckily, birthday parties were in the future plans and invitations were exchanged. i was very excited to tell devin that she was invited to a princess party hosted by "insert new friend's name here" but was a little worried when she kept asking "who???" when i said the invitee's name. hmmm... i take it i am far more concerned about the situation than she.

so what have i learned outta all this??? that clearly i am a mother who worries far too much about her offspring making friends and that i gotta learn to relax when it comes to these little speed bumps in the road of life... all that and that there is surely $$$$ to be made in a lavalife website dedicated to "friendships for toddlers"....

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

our eldest, devin, has a big personality. she likes to test limits...stand right up to the boundary line and see what she can do. i have also had everyone from teachers to friends and even the grandparents comment on how determined she is....now being a teacher i KNOW determined is code for stubborn and man is she stubborn...when mules talk to each other about other mules, they can often be heard saying " yeah, my little mule billy is as stubborn as a devin" i swear it is true. she also has inherited her father's case of selective hearing-a trait that frustrates me more than almost anything in life....ok i hate hard butter a little bit more but you get my point.

case in point yesterday. within 15 mins of devin being outta bed, she had ignored me 6 times (yes i counted) and did the complete opposite to what was asked twice. i am a patient person but even i have my limit and it was met yesterday. i let the course of the day ride out and finally at bedtime...i had enough.

rob was out at baseball (man did i curse his name as the night went on) and i was putting the girls to bed. it was one of those nights that we jinxed earlier by saying, "they both seem tired, they'll go down no problem"..ha rookie mistake...but sadly i ain't no rookie in this game and shoulda seen the change up coming. so, i asked devin to brush her teeth while i attempted to clean deirann's...i would be safer tackling an alligators...and finally gave up ...throwing the toothbrush into the laundry basket in hopes to release some of my frustration (keep this point in mind throughout this tale). i gave her a few last cuddles and plopped her in her crib. i then went to devin's room to see how far she had come on the tootypegs knowing damn well there was no way she brushing them.

"devin have you brushed your teeth?"
she was in her room with her legs sticking out from under her bed no doubt searching for some lost treasure.
"look mama i found my magic wand!"
"great devin! maybe it can change you into a princess who realizes that she must brush her teeth in hopes to protect herself from the evil dragon!" i dug into the bottom of the day's creativity basket to pull that one.
"i also found my missing shoe..." ah...i see she was suffering from a severe case of hearing selectiveness at this point.
"hey devin, let's see who can brush their teeth first...me or you!"
with that, the ever-competitive devin zipped out from beneath the bed (with a shoe on her hand and magic wand between her teeth) racing to the bathroom.

"hmmm...that wasn't so bad" i thought to myself. i spent a few minutes sorting things in my room when i heard her at the door.
"are they all brushed princess devin? can we head to your room to read a book?"
instead of acknowledging i was speaking to her, devin had lost the wand and shoe and was now carrying her step stool and was placing it by the wall switch in my room.
"um, devin...? "
nothing.
"devin?"
nada.

at this point i should let those of you who don't know me that well, that my dad is irish and my mum is scottish... and i inherited many good traits because of this mix...as well as a GREAT temper.

i saw red.
i had enough.
i know she was focused on what she was doing and that i shouldn't get upset at such trivial matter, don't sweat the small stuff and all that junk...but i had had it.
somehow i managed to keep myself composed and said in a quiet voice,
" devin, you aren't doing as i asked so i am not doing what you asked. i am not reading you a story, go to bed."

now, at this point i should also let you know...devin had also inherited many good traits in her dna...as well as a GREAT temper.

wow. did she loose it.

that kid stormed into her room, slammed the door and threw the BIGGEST hissy fit known to humankind...ok maybe not the biggest but considering she is only three...i was pretty impressed with her fury.

i left her for a bit so we could both cool off. i could hear her in there saying a lot of stuff and making a lot of noise but decided not to poke the bear just yet.

of course all of this woke deirann up. i went back in to help settle her and enjoyed a little bit of time in the calmness of her room. meanwhile i could still hear hurricane devin tearing it up at the other end of the hallway. when deirann drifted off, i opened her door to be greeted by one sweaty, pissed off kid standing in the hall.

"i don't like my room."
" well that is too bad devin, i think it is a nice room."
"i don't like my room at all and i don't wanna be in it anymore."
so i scooped her up, sang "we shall overcome" and we went outside to watched the birds and rabbits in the garden, happy the storm had past.....

yeah right.

i followed up her last comment with my VERY adult comeback of " well, you can go back in your room or you can go sit on the front step with all the ants 'til daddy comes home." i am so mature.
"fine!" she screamed and proceeded to return to her room with a very dramatic door slam that made me wonder if the foundation would crack.
i could hear a little more rumbling in there and then silence. i waited a little longer then knocked the door.

"devin, can i come in?"
no answer.
hmmm...maybe she fell asleep.
i opened the door an peeked in.

i can see why she didn't like her room.
hurricane devin was a category 4 and did some damage.

she was lying calmly in the middle of her bed...with no sheets, blankets, pillows...nothing but her.
on her floor lay all the bed linens as well as everything normally found on top of the overstuffed ottoman she likes to read on (pillows, teddies, blankets etc).

feeling terrible that she was this upset, i sat on her bed and we had a good talk. we discussed what she was feeling and i let her know how i was feeling. i did what all the textbooks say to do, repeat back her statements so she knows i heard her, but still being firm with my own decision.

we settled up with a few heartfelt "i'm sorries" and enjoyed a good cuddle. we decided that it would be best to make her bed and even sang "what's going to work...TEAM work!" to help get the job done properly.

"mama, i really like my room you know."
"i know devin."
"mama this is the book you are going to read to me now..."

???
are you kidding me?

remember when i said she likes to stand as close to the line and see what she could get away with? she also likes to jump up and down on the line at times and laugh at you.

with that i said,
"goodnight devin i love you."

and heard " i love you too mama." followed by a giggle...

man we are in trouble when she is a teenager!