....and it brings back...those old emotions.....

so after 3 years i finally got my act together to start playing with my ipod.

we bought it with the great intentions that it would get me and the hubby moving a little more...as if it was the lack of music in my ears that kept me from going for a run at night! we bought it in the summer of 06 on a visit to canada before we returned to de island. thinking that we may get caught in customs uncle cheese, my brother in law (devin's nickname cause she couldn't say uncle steve) volunteered to upload some of music to the toy so it looked like we had had it for a while...aka bought it in bda. it was a great idea and we had no problem upon our return. i did have a problem when i when for my first outing and popped the buds into my ears. i scrolled around to find something to inspire me....when i realized....i so had the wrong man upload music.

uncle cheese is a HUGE beatles fan and all things related to them. me i am SO NOT a HUGE beatles fan and all things related to them. i can honesty not think of a band that i would rather not listen to ...ever again. i hate the beatles...yup i do....i hate 'em. i scrolled around some more and found that there was 8 .3 days of music uploaded ( i thought it would be a few songs!!) and it was a combo of the above mentioned act, billy joel, elton john, the eagles...can you get the idea? uncle cheese is 9 years older then me and this is very much his music...and very not mine. i can't stand any of it. now don't get me wrong, i enjoy listening to classic vinyl on xm and one of my favourite memories is driving through the mojave desert with cheese singing black dog at the top of our lungs while poor uncle bb (aka my sister in law, aunt karen) was rolling her eyes at us in the back seat. i do enjoy some classic rock but man, i am soooooooo not a fan of this stuff.

so i figured i would just delete the stuff i didn't like and add my own music. easier said then done. being the sneaky and o'so clever gal that i am, i tossed the instruction manual in canada so that those nasty customs officers wouldn't find it and figure out we had unclaimed goods (cause i was so guilty looking and much more harmful then the dope carring dude behind me in line!). finally one night after i put devin to sleep (she wasn't even a year yet) i plopped myself down on the couch and started "getting to know my ipod". i figured out a few things but couldn't find a delete button anywhere....! how can i get the music that i don't want off this damn thing? hmmm....maybe i can get some help online. luckily i found the manual i needed on a site and started to play around. i had an "aha" moment when i realized that i need to have it hooked up to my computer to delete things....i see. now, i won't bore you with the rest of the details, but anyone who remembers those early days of parenthood knows there is NO way you are going to waste those precious hours of childfree time trying to figure out how to delete 8.3 days of music from an ipod..besides who am i kidding? even elton john and almost the beatles was better listening then the damn lullabies that were being played in our house and car. so, the ipod kinda got tossed aside and almost forgotten about...

until a few weeks ago...devin came into the kitchen saying "look mama...look what i found...a breaving string"

i turned around and saw a long white string in her hand, when i looked a little more, i noticed the sting split in two and lead into her nostrils.

flashback....she had walked in a few nights earlier when i had a rerun of er on and asked why the man on the screen had a string coming out of his nose. i explained that it was supplying him with oxygen (once a teacher....) and quickly turned the channel.

apparently my ear buds were providing devin with much needed oxygen via the "breaving" string.

after taking the breaving string out...and disinfecting it...i realized that you know, i got some time these days, maybe i should get to know that ipod a little better....if i could only find it! thanks to a creative game of i spy and a fast little detective, devin located the device quickly and i was ready to get started.

where to start? i set up an account on itunes and started searching. i had tried this in bermuda but bermudian creditcards are/were not accepted (yeah i know, they will allow bermuda to take in guantanamo bay refugees but my credit card was questionable).it took me a while but i did finally delete most of the songs that good uncle cheese uploaded and was surprised to find a little stuff that we had in common...the clash, some hip even a little roxy music!

now onto the next problem. uploading music. when it comes to music, i like a little of everything. my tastes haven't changed that much and yes i will admit there are a few skeletons in my musical closet that i am embarrassed to know all the words to...like...shaggy(blame it on the dark n'stormies hanging out on the boat). i can't say i like one particular band or that there is an album that i could not live with out and i was finding it hard to figure out what i wanted to put on the ipod.
luckily, a friend (recently departed martin streek) posted a comment online around the same time "It really is amazing how a song can take you to a place, a time, from the past and make you feel the way you did back then...no matter how you feel at the present time... maybe that only happens to me...but I doubt it."

hmmm...what a great way to get started. i started think of songs that got me back to some part of my life and stirred up thoughts, memories, feelings...all that good stuff.

so below are a few (no real order, just the first ones i came up with...all over the place really!)of the songs/bands i have uploaded...i have even shared a few of the memories!

joy division love will tear us apart-high school dances, especially cfny roadshows & marty

the beat & specials- dancing & watching the mosh pit with tricia james at the special beat concert

irish rovers the unicorn-st peter's school in milton celebrated st patrick's day as if we were in dublin itself...my dad would take the day off work and take care of the lighting....i don't even remember what we did at christmas or easter....but man st patricks was fun! it is also one of the ones rob sang to my bumps and now the girls

u2 bad- one of the few u2 songs i actually like...camping at the koa with jenn russell

new order temptation-julie huyberts and i buying baseball cards at the 7-11 in bronte

the clash train in vain-driving to connecticut for a teaching practicum

54-40 baby have some faith & one gun- watching this awesome band i never heard of opening for the skydiggers at a ontario place

jerry garcia shining star- driving the cabot trail with rob and howling at stupid jokes

daughter pearl jam-pitcher tuesdays at the snail (wow i actually have memories from that time??!!)

the stones - you can't always get what you want- playing ucher in high school

nitty gritty dirt band you and me go fishin in the dark- jenny o...sauble beach...such a "talented, multitasking" friend...tee hee.

looking back, if someone asked me what do i listen to, i don't think these songs would jump to mind immediately but they made the cut. this was awesome, i had a starting point that and it looks like it has no end. poor rob is gonna wish i kept to my hobby of drinking wine...WAY cheaper than what the itunes bill will be!

so i put to you...what are your top memory songs? the ones that put you back to "that" place in time? the ones you know all the words to and sing at the top of your lungs with a goofy grin on your face....you know the ones....

now excuse me, i am off to enjoy a little jane's addiction....my most recent addition!

cool shoes

i recently had an acquaintance of mine commit suicide. the shock is slowly wearing off and i am coming to terms with the fact i will not have the opportunity to be in touch with him again and that there were many things i wanted to share with him. with that said, i have decided that i don't want to be in this situation again-one where i never got the chance to say what i really wanted to say to someone, let them know how much i liked them, admired them, enjoyed their company, simply felt blessed to know them. it got me wondering why this happens. i am one who will quickly comment on how cool a stranger's shoes are or how beautiful their child is, but i am not sure if i tell the people that really matter how i feel about them. i think i get too embarassed about putting those sorta feelings out there. sad really, but i am sure i am not the only person who feels this way. i don't mean for this to sound as trivial as it does but it is something looming over me right now. so, if you receive an email from me in the near future and i say i like your shoes, or your kid, have no fears, nothing bad is going on with me, i just wanted to let you know you are important to me for a reason.and marty, i liked your shoes.

i am stuck on bandaid.....

what is it about bandaids and kids? i swear my two purposely walk into things and trip on stuff just so they can run screaming to me for a bandaid... and i do think that the bandaids that are marketed these days definitely "aid" the cause...our first aid kit consists of dora, deigo, barbie, hello kitty and neon ones. i gotta say it ain't so good if you are a grown up in our house and get a "boo boo" especially in a spot that is not covered by clothing, cause you will be forced to sport one of the above.

last weekend poor devin got a whopper of a boo boo on her finger when a very heavy bathroom door slammed shut on her little wigglies before she could move them. she released one of those screams that you wait for...you know the ones....where they take the biggest, longest breath in (so long it allows you to warn everyone in the area to cover their ears) before the wail is released. once the cry was out she followed it with "bandaid, i need a bandaid now!!!" the little patient's finger was purple and blue in seconds and started to swell but there was no blood. once i examined it and made sure she could wiggle it, i explained that (once again) bandaids were to help stop bleeding etc. nope, she wouldn't have any of that explanation.

even deirann, who mastered the word bandaid by 15 months, LOVES to have bandaids on. she of course takes them off within 30 seconds of having them, but all the same she loves them.

now, when i was a kid, "plasters" as my mum called them, were not an accessory. no, they were a nuisance, they were ugly and never stayed on in the water or on the bending parts of the body that always seemed to get hurt. and the sticky residue they left behind when they did fall off....yuck...reason enough not to ask for one in the first place.

i remember my brother cut his foot on an above ground pool that the neighbour's had ( man i wanted one of those!) and my folks took him to the hospital. i waited for him to return and hear about all the pain the stitches caused...only for him to come back and say he got a "butterfly" bandaid put on, no stitches.

what? a butterfly bandaid? wait a minute...now even though i was (and still am) a tomboy...a "butterfly" bandaid sounds pretty good in my books! how come he got the butterfly bandaid? shouldn't he get the planet of the apes bandaid, or a crayfish bandaid...you know something a little more manly? you gotta love the places that sibling rivarly rears its ugly head . when he finally did show me the butterfly bandaid...and i was able to drag myself up of the ground (i don't do so well with blood and wounds) i was sorta relieved that he didn't get a pretty pink bandaid that was covered in butterflies...nope it was one of those ugly "plasters" shaped sorta like a butterfly....my first experience with false marketing.

so, at last count tonight...the girls have applied 14 bandaids on various wounds all over. i know it is a waste but it did allow for a few minutes of peace and quiet while i tried to use a tissue to stop a cut i got shaving my legs....hang on a sec....?!

sing, sing out loud, sing out strong..

so the littlest baker, deirann, has always had a keen interest in music. granted she is only 19 months old, but during her time on this planet, she has demonstrated an innate rhythm that can't be contained.

now, i have no musical talent what so ever, i can't even play the radio. luckily, daddy rob's dna comes to rescue and provides some skill in this area, he plays the guitar and has quite a nice voice...although i don't think i have ever actually told him! he is able to pick a song up in a heartbeat and strum in out in no time, same talent can be said for the piano. when i was pregnant with both girls, he happily sang away to my bump and often brought the guitar out for a little serenade. so with this said, you can see where deirann's musical abilities come from.

when she was a few weeks old, we realized that a few lines of "hush little baby don't say a word, mama's gonna buy you a .....(insert whatever you can think of here!)" which would quickly quiet deirann down. anytime she would peep a little cry we only needed to get the first few words out and it worked like a charm. even devin realized this song worked and she would join in with her version whenever she heard deirann getting upset.

fast forward a year and a bit to last night. we decided to take the girls to the local ice cream shop for an after dinner treat. once we were home and the ice cream was all done, deirann decided she wanted more....and she wanted it NOW. for such a little, sweet child she has one powerful set of lungs. i was upstairs getting devin ready for bed when i heard the ruckus below start. thankful i had the "easier" child for once, i wondered how long it would be until rob called out for some help. i waited...and waited...but the crying did stop quite quickly. hmmmm....did he take her outside and that is why i can' t hear her anymore? or did he have enough and toss her into the playroom and shut the door? getting a little worried and i started to head downstairs when i stopped suddenly near the spare room.

what is that? is that deirann singing? no, she was screaming bloody murder 15 secs ago and now she is singing?

i popped my head around the corner and saw deirann sitting on daddy's knee looking at the computer screen...

see for yourself......




now if you look real close at the screen, you can see who she is singing her duet with....

yup none other than susan boyle....yes "that" susan boyle from "britain's got talent".

it seems that a few weeks ago when rob was on the computer with deirann on his knee, he clicked on some link that brought him to "the" youtube video and shazamm! a star was born. deirann was mesmerised by this woman, and soon she was singing along to the les mis song the wee scottie was cranking out. thinking it was funny, rob didn't think much of it until a few days later was i was out and he was minding the offspring. deirann was having some sort of breakdown when father of the year remembered the videoclip. he brought her back up stairs and found the clip and sure enough the "baby whisperer" worked her magic and deirann was settled in no time, singing along once again.

as every parent will attest to, when a baby is crying you will do everything to come up with a way to quiet her down. over the years we have been known to take 3:45 am drives along horseshoe bay beach, we have purchased a variety of rocking, bouncing, swaying chairs for infants, invested in a bunch of soothers, even developed a rocking-sway dance sorta thing...you name it, we tried it. anything to settle the cry of our girls. but who woulda thunk a lass named susan boyle would be our new found hero? now, i am still not sure what part i find more amusing, that the baby settles when she hears the crooner or the fact she sings along with her....either way, i gotta say, kudos to my hubby rob for finding this solution! point: rob.

Spilling the Beans

i recently received an email from good friends of ours that still live in bermuda. they (including three year old adriana) confirmed that they would be coming for a visit in late august enroute to bermuda from b.c. needless to say, i was a little excited at the idea of having a well-missed girlfriend living with us for a few days...but boy i don't think anything would match devin 's excitement! adriana is her bestest friend in the whole wide world and even though they have only seen each other for a few days at christmas since last july, devin still talks about adriana regulary as if she just had lunch with her at milestones or a pedi with her at the spa...it is that kinda friendship.

this recent email made me flashback to last fall when i receved a similar email from the same family saying they were going to visit us around christmas enroute to b.c.
being an experinced teacher, i know it is important to forwarn children when something a little different to the routine will occur. i have also learned (the hard way!) that you do not spill the beans about the change to routine too earlier or too late. timing is once again very important. if you tell them too early, you will be greeted with "is today the day -insert change to routine here_?" and if you tell them too late...well that can send them over the edge.

but of course all this knowledge went out the window last fall and i decided that i would tell devin that adriana and her family wre coming for a visit.

"is my best friend adriana (i swear that is what she calls her...everytime!!) coming today?"

"no devin, adriana is not coming today."

next day, "is my best friend adriana coming today?"

"no devin, adriana is not coming today."

you can see where this is going. this all started in october...and adriana wasn't coming until december...oh boy.

the teacher in me saw this as a great opportunity to introduce devin to a calendar. we got a red marker, some stickers and a simple calender with big squares to write in dates.

"so devin, you see here, this is today...october 7th...you see here, this is december 18th...that is when adriana will be here!" we proceeded to decorate the "big day" and hung the calendar on the wall where devin could look at it and mark the dates off. we discussed the fun things they would do togegther and how great it would be to play in the snow with each other.

"so adriana will be here when there is snow?"

"yup, fingers crossed devin there is snow, adriana will be here."

the calendar seemed to work like a charm for a few days, devin would run downstairs and put a big red line through the day so she could see how many more days were left.

one morning dev ran down to mark of the day when she noticed the marker was missing.

"mama, where is the marker?"

"hmmm...it is not attached to the calendar with the string?"

"no mama....the string is here and the hat (aka the "top" to the marker) but no marker. i need the marker to mark off when my best friend adriana is coming...

"yes devin i kn..."

"mama, look at deriann..."

needless to say, we found the marker...and a little girl that looked like she had the measles.

we decided to move the marker and calendar out of harms way and continued to mark off the days to the big arrival.

"so did you mark off when adriana is coming today on your calandar?" i greeted young miss d one morning.

"nope, my best friend adriana is coming today!"

huh? after a quick check i confirmed it was only early november and we had over a month before her visit.

"no dev, adraina is not coming today. look at your calander, we have lots of days to go before she comes..."

" she is coming today," devin insisted.

"i am sorry devin, adri...."

"mummy you said she was coming today!" poor devin was getting a little "angry" now, clearly i was in the wrong.

"devin, adriana and her family are not coming until december 18th. it is only november 3rd." when in doubt, state the obvious.

"mummy it is snowing."devin also believes that when in doubt state the obvious .

"well look at that it is!" ok if i can divert her to the snow, she may shake this whole"adriana is coming today" thing.

"...and you said my best friend adriana would come when it snows...."

oy, i did say that didn't i?

"devin i meant that there would be snow on the ground when adriaina came to visit..."

"...but mummy you said..."

"...i didn't mean that when it snows for the first time she would be coming that same day!"

"..but mummy...??!!"

so once again i had to disappoint my daughter and explain that her bff would not be coming for a visit for a quite a few weeks. almost like dog years, time to kids is way longer then it is to adults.

she was quite upset but did come around. we found other ways to count down adriana's visit..deirann should be walking by the time adriana visits ..."look mama deirann is walking ...is my best friend adriana coming today?"...and after we put up the christmas decorations .." look mama the tree is decorated...is my best firiend adriana coming today?"

this continued until december 18th, the BIG day. but i gotta admit, the greeting the two gave each other and the fun they had for those few days made the wait worth while.

so, what did i learn from all this? that i need to keep my big mouth shut and that devin is on a need to know basis regarding visits from bestest friends, christmas, birthdays...all the important stuff.

recently, i was hanging with a neighbour watching our kids play in the dirt together and was telling her that adriana was coming for a visit and that we are going to plan devin's birthday party while adriana was here. i was just about to explain that this time, i was not going to tell devin about the visit until the day before they arrive ..but i didn't have the chance....

"hey devin," hollars friendly neigbour, "i hear your friend adriana is coming to visit you for your birthday!"

....man that kid's head turned quicker then anything i have ever seen. she stared at me with those big blue eyes and her mouth hanging open.....and let out a squeal of delight that surely caused glass to break in all the nearby houses...followed with..." is my best friend adriana coming today for my birfday????"

...it is may 11h....adriana is not coming until august 25th....and devin's birthday isn't until september 3rd.....

oy.

devin and her best friend adriana.

The Wheels on the Car Go Round and Round...

So finally at the age of 37, I got a brand spanking new car.

Up to this point I have happily driven "used" cars and loved them. I have had a VW GTI (it was the car that my husband pushed when it broke down, the first time we met-ah my knight in shining armour...well actually cowboy boots, tight jeans and a baseball jersey...but hey it was the 90s!), Honda Accord (I gotta say I LOVE driving standard), Honda Civic (we sold it when we moved to Bermuda), Mazda 323 (it POURED water out of the passenger's side/glove box when we took corners to fast...oddly it was not an option we were looking for) and Subaru Impreza ( a GREAT car that we sadly sold when we left de island). Since returning to Canada we have had a Honda Accord that belonged to Rob's mum and an Acura MDX that his sista lent us for 6 months 'til the lease was up. Looking back at my list, WOW that adds up to 28 wheels plus the 2 scooters we had over the 10 years...making it 32!

After test driving many a brand and style we settled on a 2009 Hyundai Santa Fe AWD, it was the one with the most leg room within our price range. We figure we will have it for a while, or as I put to Rob "We will have it until you at least 50 years old!"...that didn't go over so well.

The next question was colour, and that discussion went like this:

"So what colour do you think Dev?"

"Pink!" exclaims Devin.

"I don't think they make it in pink Dev..."

"Why? All pretty things are pink...butterflies, bubblegum, flowers, babies..." Good point, but no luck.

"How about red and white?" suggests Devin.

"Hmmmm...red and pink....why?"

"Well it is Santa's sleigh? Red and white would be just right."

.......?????..........huh?

"Santa's sleigh....?" I ask.

"Yeah, you said we were getting a 'Santa Sleigh' and his is red and white..."

I sooooooo have to work on my pronunciation, " Sorry Devin I said a 'Santa Fe' not a 'Santa Sleigh'........."

Man the look of disappointment on her face.

Anyhow, we decided...well actually we didn't "decide" as much as we were limited to black or "maybe willow blue (who names these colours???) if it is available but we won't know for 4-6 weeks" explains the saleswoman....ok, so black it is!

The car was delivered to the house after dinner last Wednesday. After a quick cruise around, getting all the bells and whistles pointed out and demonstrated (I LOVE satellite radio!!) the keys were passed over and the Bakers headed out for a quick cruise.

"It is so shiny!"

"Ohhhhhhh look at all the buttons!"

"Can I drive?"

"Can we sleep in it and look at the stars all night long through the hole in the ceiling (aka sunroof)."

No these were not Devin's comments....they were mine.

I never really got all the fuss over that "new car smell" but gotta admit, when that smell is your car...it stinks good. I enjoyed cruising around the next day and was thankful that it was warm enough to even have the windows open...yup, a good purchase indeed.

Being Thursday, it was my afternoon to pick Devin up from school since Rob has his afterschool shift. I collected my folks to bring then on a little drive and surprise Devin.

Arriving at school I was greeted with a sleepy little girl who wanted a cuddle, not the usual "MMMUUUMMMMMMYYYY!!!" followed with a NFL knee hit. Hmmmm...maybe she is still a little tired...she is kinda pale now that I look at her....oh I should really trust that maternal instinct.

I buckled Devin in and started the journey home. I had to take the QEW since the new 407 transponder has not arrived yet. No biggie, it wasn't rush hour yet, so we may only need to tack about 10 extra minutes on our commute.

"Grandma isn't our new car nice?"

"Look at the hole in the top Grandpa."

"Mummy I love our new car."

"Mummy I am thirsty."

"Mummy I have a tummy ache."

Oh oh. Once before on this same commute, Devin had a "Mummy I have a tummy ache" moment that quickly changed to a VERY messy issue within minutes.

Crap. I am in the fast lane at the exact spot where the QEW and 403 meet...could I be in a worse location?


"Hey Mum," I casually ask Grandma as I try to get over to the far shoulder, "Do you see a plastic bag in the back anywhere?" Meanwhile my hands are starting to sweat...please don't throw up, please don't throw up.....

"No, nothing back here," oh oh, not the response I wanted to hear.

"But here Devin, you can use my purse..." You gotta love my Mum, nothing phases her. Absolutely nothing.

My Mum did her best to quickly empty her purse of its contents but sadly Devin's little tummy decided to do the same thing....all over her carseat, pink poncho that she made in school and of course....the new car.

Oy vey.

I gotta say, for a three year old, she is a trooper. She sat in traffic for 35 minutes soaking wet.

"I frewup in the new car."

"Its ok Devidoo as long as you feel a little better."

"I frewup all over my pretty pink poncho."

"Don't worry Devin, we will clean it all up."

Now, I know I may seem like a heartless mother making her sit like that until we get home but let me plead my case...this is the child who changes her outfit if she gets a little splash of water on it when washing her hands, or some mulch gets stuck to her dress when she is playing outside. If I made ANY attempt to change her, there would be no earthly way I would be able to get her back into "that" carseat to get her home. So it was either sit in the carseat covered in you know what or sit in the car, clean but with out a carseat.....you see I am actually a very loving mum concerned about her well-being.

When we finally arrive home, I helped pull the soggy little noodle from her seat while trying to assess the damage.

"Ok, let's get you inside to change and for a quick bath..." I turn around to find my bashful three year old buck nude in our driveway...man that was fast!

"Um...Dev...let's get inside....." before the neighbours start to wonder about the nudist colony across the street!

"Look Mummy an ant...do you think he would like to see the mess I made?"

"Um....no I don't think so." I scoop her up and carry her inside while my mum (God bless her!) collects the soggy poncho, shoes, shirt and pants.

After a quick bath and some warm clothes I venture out to see the damage.

Hmmmm...not too bad. My Mum (once again, God bless her) cleaned up most of it leaving me just to get the little "bits" and the carseat.

At this point I realized all the excitement over a new car was silly. I mean it is just metal and rubber, it doesn't provide life, it doesn't laugh at silly jokes, and even those seat heater aren't all that exciting. No, a car is just a means from getting from A to B.....leather seats on the other hand are the GREATEST creation. Ever. All hail the inventor of wipeable, easy to clean leather seats. Yup, sliced bread ain't got nothing on seats that are forgiving to frowup.

I stood back and took one final look. Yup looks pretty good. So what if the car is only 22 hours old, as long as Devin is ok.

The next day after making sure tummies were feeling ok, Devin,Daddy and Deirann headed to school. A few minutes later, I headed out to work and jumped into the car. Hmmmm....I am sure this is NOT the new car smell I was expecting! Nothing a few bottles of Febreeze won't cure...and open windows....and maybe a nose plug.

Anyhow, off I go to start my day... singing at the top of my lungs in a Jerry Maguire kinda way.

I do love my new car...stink and all.

Eggs anyone?

So let's return to the scene of the crime....see Feb 6th for those of you who forgot.


Thursdays are Devin's Irish Dance Class days, I should probably call it "Devin's Skip, Roll Around and Do Nothing That The Teacher Asks Class"...but that would deserve a whole blog of its own...so on with last Thursday....


I decided that I would take both girls to the class since it would be "easier" than having to return to my folks' place to collect sweet, darling 17 month old Deirann at the end. My mum was helpful as always and offered to come with us to the class, but of course I declined since she had the baby most of the day....oy. ....I shoulda taken the offer.


We finally get to class the usual 5 minutes late (no matter what I do, when I leave, I am ALWAYS 5 minutes late for this class...drives me nuts). I start getting the offspring outta the car when Devin asks if she could bring the coloured Easter eggs she had made earlier with Grandma into the dance class.


"No Devin, you can't." Short, simple, answer.


"Ok I will bring the basket too." Did she not hear me? Does she attend my husband's class on selective hearing??


"No Devin, eggs are not a good idea in a dance class. They will get jumped on, squished and then what will we do??" All the while I am trying to get her to come out of the car.


"My teacher is going to be so excited to see them!".....?....really, does anyone actually hear me when I am talking out loud...cause if not, I will just keep my comments to myself and share them with the other little voices in my head instead.


"Devin, get out of the #$%! car NOW and leave the @#$% eggs inside, can't you do as you are told!!!!!"



No I did not really say this to her, but boy did I want to!! Instead she got the filtered version: "Devin, please get out of the car now so we can go inside. Hey I think Deirann is going to beat you getting out of the car!"...when in doubt, throw in a little competition, motivates the laziest of 'em don't it??


Devin finally got out of the car and reluctantly left the basket of eggs inside. She stood patiently and quietly by the wall as I got her dance shoes, water bottle, and baby sister ready.


"Ok, let's go, wow you were fast, you beat Deirann! Good jo......."


There stood little Miss Devin soaking wet for the knees down. She found the tap on the wall and decided to play.


"Mummy my feet are cold and wet...."


Count to ten...count to a hundred...just don't get angry....


"Well, I guess you can wear your dance shoes home after class." Happily she skipped into the studio while I trudged behind hauling everything else. Oh sometimes I miss when all I carried was my Burt's Bees chapstick and a smile on my face....


Once inside, I put Deirann down and helped Devin get her (brand!) new wet shoes off and put her dance shoes on.



Oh oh.


"Oh dear Devin, looks like I messed up and brought to left shoes that are different sizes...." How did I manage that??? "But you know, what a funny thing you can wear, everyone will love it!"....little white lies are ok to feed your kid right? They are like the 5 second dropped food rule.

"Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"


"Come on Dev, slip them on, no one will no even notice."


"Nnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo....." Followed with a very dramatic flop on the ground that many a Hollywood actress wastes money on acting coaches to learn.


Lord, give me strength.


At this point, I am getting a little hot since they crank the heat in the studio, and notice that about 8 parents are sitting comfortably on their chairs watching all this play out with the "Oh, been there, girl, and so don't miss it" look on their faces...


Insert other Dance Teacher's voice: "Ummm, excuse me, but there is a toddler in my tap dance class that is running around. Does she belong to anyone out here?"


Oh good lord, Deirann. I totally forgot about her. God that therapist's bill is going to be big later in life when she needs to talk about her childhood.

"Yeah she is mine, I will come get her."

Buddha, give me strength.

"Devin, come one, you go in with 2 wrong shoes, or bare feet. You choose."

"Nnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Now at this point, if I was one of the audience members sitting around on the chairs, I would quickly help out any struggling mother who is clearly over her head and needs a hand. But apparently the mums sitting around me, were enjoying the entertainment a great deal and did not feel the need to help.


So off I dash down the hall to grab Deirann and carry her back kicking and screaming to where Devin is lying.

"Ok Dev, let's go home. I am done." Gotta pick your battles and this ain't one of 'em.

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Out pops Miss Dancing Teacher in her cute little dancing outfit, " Hi Devin, you ready to come in?" If she offers her a balloon I swear I will kill her.

"OK! Come on Mummy I waiting for you to put on my shoes. Look Miss Teacher, they don't match! Isn't it funny??"......are you kidding me?

Luckily, one lady who had been watching all this decided that I had suffered enough and offered to help Devin put on her shoes while I struggled to hold on to Deriann...it would be easier to hold onto a greased pig.



At this point we left the car about three minutes ago but it was by far the longest three minutes of my life.

"Mummy, where's my hair elastic? I MUST have one for class, Miss Teacher says so." Yeah, does Miss Teacher say it is ok to drink during daylight hours too, cause I'd love her if she said yes.

"Here Devin, let me put your hair up. Deriann sit." Ok so the the therapist's bill will also cover why we give the baby one word commands like she is an animal.

ZZZZZZZIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG....THWAP.....WAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The hair elastic snaps in my hand/Devin's hair, "zings" across the room and "thwap" hits Deirann on the cheek. You can figure out the last part on your own. Add "why my parents beat me" to Deirann's therapist's bill.

Finally young, River-Dancing -wanna-be Miss Devin enters her class and I drop to the floor to play with the basket of toys and give Deirann a little much needed attention. She on the other hand, has other ideas. We spend the next 25 minutes running into the other studios with Deirann providing a little interpretive dance of her own. When I would finally capture her and drag her out from the classes, she is NOT a happy camper.

At the end of the class, Devin comes skipping out as happy as can be.

"That was fun Mum, everyone liked my shoes!" Good, a little silver lining is always welcomed.

"Great news Dev, well let's head home and tell Daddy. Come on let's see who can get ready first..."

"My shoes are wet, I am not putting them on."

"Fine, wear your dance shoes."

"No those are for wearing in the dance class only."

I can feel the eyes behind me and hear the snickers already.

"Well barefoot it is my love."

"Nnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooo." Honestly, I feel like the Truman Show, where are those stinking cameras?

Suddenly my brain flashes back to that math question in grade school about getting a duck, fox and bag of corn across the river. Ok, how can I carry a 24 lb greased pig, a 40 lb shoeless-leprechaun and accessories to the car? Anyone...?

Thank God, or Buddha, hell even thank Muhammad, but thank some deity for Wii Fit and the fact that I have developed some upper body muscles that allowed me to carry all the above to the car somewhat gracefully and without dropping anything...or anyone.

I popped Deirann into her carseat while keeping Devin right beside me on the truck of the car-no need to repeat the water tap incident.

Hmmm...something smells kinda funny. Oh poor Deriann, got change that diaper when I get home.

Run around and pop Devin into her seat.

"Wow, really gotta change that diaper," I think as I lean in to buckle Devin.

"Mummy...can I bring the eggs into show Miss Dance Teacher now?"

The eggs. I forgot about those. I meant to hide them in the front seat before Devin saw them but somehow, I forgot....

Lord, they STINK! And I blamed poor Deirann on the smell....oh that therapist's bill is going to be a doosie!

"Nope, sorry Devin we are heading home." So glad we live close to the Studio cause that was a LOUD, STINKY car ride home.

When we finally get home and I deposit two girls in their grandparents' arms (Rob's folks came for a visit that I of course forgot about) and drag the contents of the car inside, I'm met with "So, what's for dinner?" It is 6:55 pm...hubby has been home for OVER an hour ...without kids....and suddenly can't decide on dinner on his own? I am busted.

"Eggs!" I bark and start to laugh.

Hmmm....I wonder how much my therapist's bill will be?